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Excerpts from the book..
I don’t like the word nanny. It gives me class anxiety and race anxiety. And that’s why I will henceforth refer to our nanny as our coordinator of toddlery.
Some people say “Never let them see you cry." I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
I didn't know hips could be a problem. I thought there was just fat or skinny.
Gay people don't actually try to convert people. That's Jehovah's Witnesses you're thinking of.
As an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
The Worldwide Parental Anxiety System is failing if many of us have made sex tapes.
Obviously in real life you're not always going to agree with everything everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to "respect what your partner has created" and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.
Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions.
In improvisation there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.
My Twelve Tenets of Looking Amazing Forever:
1) Form Good Beauty Habits Early
2) The Right Undergarments Are an Essential Part of Your Silhouette
3) Skin Care, Skin Care, Skin Care!
4) Don't Be Afraid to Try "Outside the Box" Skin Care Solutions
5) The Eyes Are the Windows to Where the Soul Is Supposed to Be
6) Space Lasers
7) "A Woman's Hair Is Her Crowning Glory"---
8) Q: But Tina, Most of Us Don't Have Constant Access to a Hairstylist. What Do We Do? A: First of All, Don't Speak to Me in That Tone. Second of All, You Must Learn to Tame Your Own Mane!
9) When It Comes to Fashion, Find What Works for You and Stick with It
10) A Manicure Is a Must
11) Aging Naturally Without Looking Like Time-Lapse Photography of a Rotting Sparrow
12) The most important Rule of Beauty. "Who cares?"
The three secrets of great skin are Moisture, SOOTS (Stay Out of the Sun), and Be Italian.
We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.
We should leave people alone about their weight. Being chubby for a while (provided you don't give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Like puberty or slowly turning into a Republican.
It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good.
Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they're going to be who they're going to be.
Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
I chose to breastfeed, and it was an amazing time in my life. It really changed me as a woman, and it's the most gratifying thing I've ever done.
The best thing a mom can do to be a better mom is to carve out a little time for herself.
Am I just chasing it because it's the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?
I don’t like the word nanny. It gives me class anxiety and race anxiety. And that’s why I will henceforth refer to our nanny as our coordinator of toddlery.
Some people say “Never let them see you cry." I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
I didn't know hips could be a problem. I thought there was just fat or skinny.
Gay people don't actually try to convert people. That's Jehovah's Witnesses you're thinking of.
As an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
The Worldwide Parental Anxiety System is failing if many of us have made sex tapes.
Obviously in real life you're not always going to agree with everything everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to "respect what your partner has created" and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.
Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions.
In improvisation there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.
My Twelve Tenets of Looking Amazing Forever:
1) Form Good Beauty Habits Early
2) The Right Undergarments Are an Essential Part of Your Silhouette
3) Skin Care, Skin Care, Skin Care!
4) Don't Be Afraid to Try "Outside the Box" Skin Care Solutions
5) The Eyes Are the Windows to Where the Soul Is Supposed to Be
6) Space Lasers
7) "A Woman's Hair Is Her Crowning Glory"---
8) Q: But Tina, Most of Us Don't Have Constant Access to a Hairstylist. What Do We Do? A: First of All, Don't Speak to Me in That Tone. Second of All, You Must Learn to Tame Your Own Mane!
9) When It Comes to Fashion, Find What Works for You and Stick with It
10) A Manicure Is a Must
11) Aging Naturally Without Looking Like Time-Lapse Photography of a Rotting Sparrow
12) The most important Rule of Beauty. "Who cares?"
The three secrets of great skin are Moisture, SOOTS (Stay Out of the Sun), and Be Italian.
We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.
We should leave people alone about their weight. Being chubby for a while (provided you don't give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Like puberty or slowly turning into a Republican.
It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good.
Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they're going to be who they're going to be.
Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
I chose to breastfeed, and it was an amazing time in my life. It really changed me as a woman, and it's the most gratifying thing I've ever done.
The best thing a mom can do to be a better mom is to carve out a little time for herself.
Am I just chasing it because it's the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?
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